


Whim

by reen212000



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-22
Updated: 2010-11-22
Packaged: 2017-10-13 08:03:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/135010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reen212000/pseuds/reen212000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A conversation on a strange planet. Written for the Strange New Worlds/Alien geographies challenge on sga_flashfic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whim

“What is that?”

“You’re the one who wanted to come to this planet. You tell me.”

“Don’t touch anything.”

“Why are you telling me not to touch anything?”

“Because you touch everything! Look, just stand there while I–”

“I did not do that!”

“I know, Colonel. Just... Just stand still.”

“Fine.”

“And when I say stand still, I mean unlike you!”

“Fine!”

“I’ve got some interesting readings from this obelisk– and no, it is not a giant snake.”

“You do read Harry Potter! I knew it! Chuck owes me ten bucks.”

“Why are you making bets on my choice of literature? I hardly see–”

“Did you feel that?”

“No. What?”

“The ground. McKay? Look at the grass. I–”

“We– I should probably start packing up.”

“No kidding, genius. Last time I checked grass could not turn orange spontaneously.”

“We are on another planet. Maybe it’s normal?”

“I can’t believe you’re wasting time speculating on what’s normal! We’re standing in the middle of tall, skinny obelisks that could give Stonehenge a run for it’s money, and you’re saying instant orange grass could be normal?”

“We are not in any danger! If we were, I’m sure we’d be dead by now.”

“Oh, that’s comforting. The sky turned purple and the grass turned orange, but it’s okay. It didn’t kill us.”

“There is no need to use that tone of voice. Look, a change in atmosphere and– wait just a minute!”

“I don’t think snapping your fingers really fast is gonna make everything normal.”

“Colonel? When you think of flying, what color do you see?”

“What does– Holy crap!”

“That’s what I thought. The sky is back to blue now. Happy?”

“That’s impossible! Why would a whole planet change just because I thought of– um...”

“Who was it this time?”

“Why does it have to be a person? It could’ve been– Fine! Julie Morrison.”

“The marine biologist? Don’t tell me you were watching her– You were watching her swim!”

“What’s it to you? Jealous? Ah, dammit!”

“You can stop changing the landscape at anytime, you know.”

“I’m trying! Oh, God. I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Stop it, Sheppard! Think of Atlantis, think of football, think of something stable!”

“Keep talking.”

“What? Sheppard–”

“It grounds me sometimes, okay? You talk so much, it’s like white noise.”

“Thanks so much, Colonel! The next time I’m trying to save our collective asses, I’ll be sure to keep you grounded!”

“Shut up, Rodney! Wait! Don’t shut up. Look!”

“I don’t want to.”

“Just look, Rodney. I think I found something.”

“What the– Colonel! Stop playing around with the pillars!”

“Obelisks, Rodney. Don’t you like the sparkly Ancient lights?”

“Just knock it off. Not like that!”

“Sorry. You would not believe what this feels like.”

“Try me. Wait! Wait! Show me that sequence again.”

“This one?”

“Yes, yes, yes. Finally!”

“What is it?”

“I can finally access it to find out.”

“I need to sit down.”

“Hang on for one more minute, okay?”

“‘kay.”

“You’re doing great. Okay, you can shut it down. Colonel?”

“Mmmph.”

“Sheppard! Wake up! You’re still tied into this thing! I can’t see; everything went black. Sheppard!”

“Oh... Um... Sorry... I...”

“Colonel! Get a move on!”

“Minute... Changing... back...”

“That’s fine. That’s fine. It’s normal now. God, I hope there’s no one else on this freaky planet.”

“Get info?”

“Are you okay? ‘Cause, um, you don’t look okay.”

“Just took me... by... surprise.”

“Let me help you up.”

“Gimme a minute.”

“Take your time. It’s a twenty minute walk back to the ‘gate, and I’d like to have dry shoes.”

“Ha ha. What did you find?”

“Well, this is officially the first adaptable planet I’ve ever seen. Working properly, it would set up an environment for any species to live.”

“Purple skies and orange landscape?”

“If there was a species from Sheppardtopia, then yes, a strangely colored atmosphere would work.”

“How long would it stay?”

“As long as the species was here. This was more or less a pit stop, if you will. There’s a shield covering a ten mile radius.”

“So everything didn’t really change. It was an illusion.”

“Well, yes and no. Like I said, if working properly, I’m sure it would do more. Environment, plantlife maybe.”

“Hey, Rodney.”

“Hay is for horses.”

“This could be like a holodeck!”

“Do not start with the Star Trek references!”

“I’m just sayin’.”

“And I’m just saying we should leave. I think we’ve collected enough data.”

“Can we come back?”

“I don’t see why not. Ready to move?”

“Okay.”

“White noise, Sheppard?”

“Yep.”

\------------------

The End. No idea where that came from...


End file.
